The (Would Be) Presidential Treatment

Botox can't give you everything and it certainly can't help you hold up under scrutiny. Just ask former presidential candidate John Kerry, whose Botox injections got lampooned by the multimedia satirists JibJab. A Botox injection can block pressure on the nerve endings--useful when you're losing a presidential debate. The Botox treatment does smooth out fine lines, wrinkles, frown lines and crow's feet. However, it can't help you if you rub your forehead after treatment, which Senator Kerry probably did between debates ("Why did I say that about Dick Cheney's daughter?").

More bad news for Kerry from Ohio: The Mandell-Brown Plastic Surgery Center in Cincinatti, Ohio says that multiple Botox injections don't necessarily make the effects last, since "for one patient the wrinkle smoothing effect may last 3 months and the next injection may last only 1 to 2 months, and a third injection may last 4 months." Particularly if you're under presidential-size stress. However, Botox can be effective for migraines, backache and underarm sweat--useful to know if you're planning your next presidential campaign. It's too late for John Kerry, but not for Hillary.