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December 21, 2007, Newsletter Issue #95: Male Abdominoplasty
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Tip of the Week
They're as vain as women--that's why men have hair plugs. That's why they get "Queer Eye" makeovers. And you might have heard about the metrosexual. Sissified? No--men have cared about their looks since Caesar's time. In decadent Rome (hot tip: we love HBO's miniseries), male tribunes threw up so they could eat again. The practice has been transferred to supermodels, so we haven't come such a long way. These days though, when male Marc Antonys need to lose that six-pack, they turn increasingly to plastic surgery. We all know Burt Reynolds has had it on his face! No word on whether he's had a tummy tuck.
Men do have abdominoplasty and they're willing to pay the abdominoplasty cost. Whether it's a mini tummy tuck or a tummy tuck, men like to reduce that stretched skin, the love handles, the beer belly. Note that the men need to be reasonably fit and the "beer belly" shouldn't be from drinking massive quantities of actual beer, but rather from loose skin after losing weight. Warning to guys: If you need to rolf as in your frat days, it may be because of gastroesophageal reflux following male abdominoplasty. This can happen when a surgeon uses a tummy tuck as a weight loss technique, which should never happen. To be an ideal guy candidate for a tummy tuck, you need to: Work out Have had gastric bypass surgery Have lost weight Not smoke, or plan to quit Not have diabetesNot be having a midlife crisis Have a sincere desire to improve your appearance
Who knows--if Caesar had gone off to have abdominoplasty, maybe he wouldn't have been assassinated. Or maybe he would have, considering how fat the other tribunes and senators were. But these days, even male plebes can afford to have a tummy tuck. Just try not to look in the mirror too much--you have a macho rep to uphold with your new hard body abs.
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